☠️Are Corporations Gaslighting Psychopaths?
☢️ Office Politics = Bullying + Manipulation + Emotional Abuse ☢️
FMP, the answer to this question is a resounding YES! I worked for many organizations over my 20 year career and it became obvious to me that most of them are seriously deranged.
The symptoms are pretty clear and I will go through some of them below. Before that, if we stop to think for a minute we realize that it could not really be any other way.
Research has shown that individuals with narcissistic and psychopathic traits have above-average success when it comes to climbing the corporate ladder. Their natural ability to believe in themselves, embellish their accomplishments, manipulate their boss, colleagues and employees, put themselves first regardless of the consequences for others, and control their surroundings give them a head-start in organizations that mostly value these traits.
This becomes a chick and an egg dynamic; the culture of organizations had been shaped by the exact same people who thrive in it. Hence, the lack of accountability, and empathy, the manipulative, controlling and egocentric behaviors that most organizations display.
If you pick up any management or leadership books focusing on climbing the greasy corporate pole you will read principles supporting these types of harmful behaviors, where gaslighting, exaggerating (one’s own value), minimizing (others’ value) are shown as the keys to success. Imagine for one second reading a parenting book or an etiquette book praising such principles and it will give you a good idea of how insane we have been to buy into that extremely damaging B.S.
What we politely call “Office Politics” is nothing more than bullying, manipulation and overall emotional abuse.
In addition, the anonymity that an organization provides allows for bad actors to grow in the fullness of themselves and behave in ways that would be at best frown upon in another setting. Hiding behind “they”, “the company”, “the machine”, these people - employees, members, partners, whatever you want to call them - have the opportunity to let their own desires for control, and power combined with manipulative behaviors, total lack of accountability and empathy blossom.
Egocentrism✔️
Anyone who has worked in a large corporation for more than a week will be familiar with the terms “Best in Class”, “Global Leadership” and other corporate lingo supposed to demonstrate the superiority of an organization. These strategic statements are not only made in complete disregard for the reality, but also framed in a way that the naïve reader might be tempted to believe them - a renowned corporation would not lie to our faces that overtly, would it?
Reading internal corporate news and intranet is akin to brainwashing; only the articles showing the organization in a positive light are presented.
Accordingly corporations are populated with individuals believing that they are their business cards. Confusing the “prestige and power” of their organization with their own.
In these environments, individuals’ narcissistic behaviors flourish; from self-aggrandizing projects (doomed M&A, and Taj Mahal-type corporate towers), special treatments (C-Suite only restaurants and lavish amenities), boastful comments (you just have to read social media for examples 😉), to more harmful arrogant and demeaning actions towards others.
Lack of empathy ✔️
We have all seen, under the pretexts of productivity and profitability, expense reduction exercises cutting deeper than necessary into the staff, contractors, trainings, benefits and so on, in total disregard for the human impact as if the numbers on the spreadsheet were not associated with real human beings. On one hand protecting (and increasing) the compensation of the decision-makers, while on the other hand letting go of people (regardless of their performances, loyalty to the organization and personal circumstances).
And don’t get me started on the total lack of empathy when it comes to organizational changes. How many of us have learnt through a random email that our boss was gone, our group was now reporting to another division (effective immediately) or that the promotion we put ourselves forward went once again to a better positioned individual (aka the spiritual son of the CEO, when not literally his brother or friend). As if we meant nothing. As if we were just pieces to be moved on a chess game.
Another obvious symptom of narcissistic psychopathy is the widespread bullying present in most organizations. I remember my boss at one of the Big 5 who was a raging narcissist - controlling, manipulative, egocentric…a total treat! After a (short) while I got tired of being bullied and warned HR and my chain of command. The initial feedback was interesting. It was very well known that this individual was a bully; other employees before me had fell under his abuse and complained. Initially, I was told that the problem would be solved, I would just have to wait a bit longer. A few more months passed and nothing changed. Exhausted with the emotional abuse, I brought that challenge again to the top of the food chain, and then the masks fell. I was told that there will always be bullies and that I should learn to live with it. Needless to say that I resigned shortly after.
The rest of us have only a few choices: adopt the same behaviors, endure the abuse, or leave.
Disregard for the rules ✔️
From human-rights abuses, sexual assaults, racism, sexism, to bribery, pollution, tax evasion, fraud, the list of corporate bad behaviors is never-ending.
It takes more than one person for such actions to be implemented, they come from a culture of entitlement, greed and impunity.
During my corporate career, I witnessed countless abuses, both unethical and illegal; the obvious and widespread cheating on expenses reports (dinners and trips with the spouse or better the lover), the tit for tat with suppliers (contract renewal for wining and dining), the “gentlemen’s agreement” (a nice evening or trip in “good” company for a juicy deal) to only name the least offensive.
In a corporation, expense reports are reviewed and approved by multiple people, and strict procurement processes are in place. In order to abuse the system a group of people needs to be in cahoots and comfortable enough that the “machine” will let their misbehaving slides.
You do see some lone wolves breaking the rules (such as senior executives “offering” gateways to young administrative assistants), but there is always someone watching (or rather closing their eyes) and aware of their behaviors. In most cases, this person chooses to stay silent.
Lack of accountability ✔️
This is an obvious one! Anyone who has ever seen an organization owning their mistakes (and not because they have no choice!), please send me a note. 🙂
Whether we are looking at the Hollywood machine, Hockey Canada, Volkswagen, or BP, organizations will do everything they can to cover their misbehaviors and try to avoid accountability.
If you think that the general public is aware of illegal, unethical, scandalous activities, think again.
Boards and C-Suite will do everything in their power, first to not investigate, second to deny, third to dissociate themselves. Some will politely call that “crisis management”, I believe similarly to “office politics” some reframe is necessary here.
As an individual, if you are a witness or aware of a crime (such as sexual assault) you are legally bound to declare it to the authorities. As an organization, this suddenly becomes way murkier. Best case scenario, a couple of people will be held accountable. Worst case scenario, nothing will happen. Maybe a fine.
Misconducts in organization become “everyone’s fault” which also means “none’s fault” and opens the door for more of the same.
Manipulative ✔️
Where to start? 🤔 Marketing campaigns? Investor presentations? Internal communication? Diversity and Inclusion initiatives? So many choices, so little time!
I think gaslighting has been invented in corporations (and also by my mother). Who has not been caught by a “talented” boss, coworker or even employee in taking more than their share of work and less than their share of acknowledgment?
I also love the classic plays on promotions: “you just miss that skill / experience to be promoted” or “ in two years you will be ready, you just need a bit more time, there is no point in rushing”. And, many of us have seen that movie before, you add the skill, you wait 2 years, while obviously working your a$$ off,… and the promotion goes to David, the good-looking young guy (who is 7 years younger than you and with a resume so thin that you can reproduce it on the back of an envelope) who happened to get along very well with the CEO.
In my last corporate job, I had been surprised to discover on the performance review form a box for “flight risk”. Employees seen as “high flight risk” would get awarded higher bonus for the same performance than their colleagues deemed “low flight risk”. Ever wondered if your loyalty was misplaced? Well you get your answer!
And this is not even the plain lying that I have experienced and witnessed countless times in corporations.
Controlling ✔️
One of the most important traits of narcissistic psychopaths is control. Their need to control you by all means necessary is paramount.
Emails, direct messages, calls, are wonderful ways to keep employees on their toes 7/7 24/24.
I remember when I got my first blackberry and naively thought that it meant more freedom, and that I would not have to be constantly in front of my computer to answer emails. How wrong was I?!!
One of the most anxiety-inducing thing for me was the expectation that I would be constantly monitoring my emails like an hawk (and meetings with testosterone-fueled executives ready to attack at the first opportunity, just to assert their power) . God forbid I received an email from DA, MB or more likely BS (the top of the food chain that, during my time in banks, was called by their initials, because they were so damn hot) and didn’t answer immediately. Imagine for one instant, the CFO or worse, the CEO, sending a message asking me to meet a person lambda from his swim club and I am not right away answering the expected “I am on it!”. What could be worse than that?!?
Well, in that mind-bending reality that is the corporate world, this was for me a life or death situation. I had been brainwashed in thinking that this constant control over my life by way of round-the-clock communication was normal and that the most innocuous event, as long as it involved the top of the totem pole, was important, urgent and primordial.
This is the real reason I wrote that post - to put out there how much the behaviors that employees are considering as normal are actually not only abnormal but also harmful to their health - physical and mental.
Next week, I will explore the mental and physical health impacts of working in organizations that, for the most part, are totally insane.
Please share your comments and questions as this is a dialogue that I believe deserves to be in the open.
If you are interested in knowing more about me, you can visit my website or my YouTube channel.
If you want to explore speaking engagements you can reach out to my agent Dave Daniel at dave@speakersassociates.com
Thank you for reading 🙏
"Lack of empathy" - reminds me of the exchange between Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in "You've Got Mail" after her store gets shut down. "What does that even mean, 'It's not personal, it's business?' All it means is that it's just not personal to you. Besides, if business is anything, it should start with personal." (I don't remember verbatim, but that's the gist...)
I've never been the corporate ladder-climbing type -- upon reflection after reading this post, it's probably because I do much better in meritocracies. In fact, I've spent little time in the corporate world, except when I am working with clients as a freelancer. I'm happy I'm not part of the office politics.
I haven't analyzed to understand *why* I don't like the corporate world -- but your post basically breaks it down for me! Makes me appreciate my little office for one all the more...
Thanks for the post, Peggy!
~Graham