🤥Unveiling the Ultimate Gaslighting: "You Can Have It All"
⛓️Breaking Free from the Illusion of Perfection
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In case you are fuzzy on gaslighting, it is a psychological manipulation tactic aimed at making individuals doubt their own reality. The term actually came from the 1944’s movie Gaslight; it follows a young woman whose husband slowly manipulates her into believing that she is descending into insanity.
Gaslighting is definitely not new, it is actually a strategy that is as old as the world. It does feel omnipresent now though, probably because we have a name for it and that forewarned is forearmed. I just wish I had known about the concept as a kid, I would have avoided a lot of sorrow and mental anguish. Being sucked into others’ reality is not great (to put it plainly!), especially that gaslighting is done for the gaslighters’ benefits at the expense of the gaslighted. One is indeed rarely manipulated for their own sake.
As I am shedding more and more layers of illusions it has become hugely apparent to me that gaslighting has seeped big time into societal expectations.
🤥“You Can Have It All” = The Ultimate Gaslighting
Among the plethora of societal myths, "You Can Have It All" stands out as one of the most insidious forms of gaslighting, especially when considering the expectations placed on women.
The notion that women can (and should) effortlessly juggle a super successful career, look like a supermodel, raise wonderfully well-adjusted kids, be a fabulous spouse while being well-travelled, educated and pleasing (but still assertive) is at best damaging, at worst mental, emotional and physical subjugation.
This narrative suggests women can achieve the pinnacle of success in every facet of their lives simultaneously. However, beneath it all lies a profound and damaging gaslighting mechanism.
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This story line sets an unattainable standard, creating a perpetual cycle of striving and feeling inadequate. The pressure to excel in every aspect of life, from career to relationships, is overwhelming and unrealistic. Unfortunately this script has been fed and absorbed by men and women alike, creating impossibly high expectations that are definitely not supporting women.
👸The Illusion of Perfection
This gaslighting is especially pernicious because it preys on women's insecurities that have been carefully cultivated since childhood (it is indeed much easier to manipulate an insecure individual, so let’s start them young!), as well as societal expectations. It suggests that any failure to meet these unrealistic standards is a personal failing rather than a systemic issue. Women are led to believe that if they just try harder, work longer hours, or invest more resources in their appearance, they can achieve the elusive "all."
In reality, this narrative serves to keep women trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction, self-doubt and external validation. They didn’t set the rules of the games nor the impossibly high standards, but are nonetheless assessed by men and women alike based on these requirements.
Women are bombarded with messages that suggest their worth is tied to their ability to meet these nonviable standards, leading to a never-ending quest for perfection. This course for betterment in the hope of one day measuring up (and maybe finally feeling good enough) fuels consumerism. From the right studies, creams, clothes, home, private schools for the kids, workout to cottage, makeup, leisure, books, friends, vacation destination, the list of the things to do and have to look the part is endless. And this dynamic beautifully keeps everyone on the treadmill!
🤷♀️Manipulated into Obedience and Conformity
Moreover, the "You Can Have It All" gaslighting undermines the concept of choice and autonomy. Women are made to feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs and desires over societal expectations. The pressure to conform to this ideal leaves little room for individuality or self-expression.
Stepping down from the merry go round of measuring up to these unrealistic expectations is a challenging one as it would likely not been perceived and supported as a proactive choice, but regarded as a simple failure to measure up. This is such a vicious, self-reinforcing and, I have to say, elegant system I almost have to tip my hat to the generations of gaslighters who have been manipulating and ensnaring women!
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The solution to breaking free from this toxic cycle lies in recognizing “Having It All” for what it truly is: a form of mass gaslighting designed to keep women perpetually dissatisfied and striving for unattainable goals. It requires challenging the societal norms and expectations that uphold this narrative and reclaiming agency over one's own life.
🔓Reclaiming One’s Freedom
Opting out of this destructive cycle doesn't mean settling for less; rather, it's about rejecting the false promises and unrealistic expectations that have been imposed upon women. It's about redefining success on one's own terms and prioritizing fulfillment and well-being over external validation.
The "You Can Have It All" gaslighting is a powerful mechanism that perpetuates unrealistic expectations and undermines women's sense of self-worth and agency. Breaking free from this cycle requires recognizing it for what it is and reclaiming control over one's own narrative. It's time to reject the illusion of perfection and embrace the messy, imperfect beauty of being human.
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😎 About The Microdose Diet
I'm Peggy Van de Plassche, a former banker and VC with 20 years in financial services and technology. "The Microdose Diet" combines alternative medicines like microdosing psilocybin for personal and professional growth.
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